My husband and I had an argument yesterday. It was so upsetting but thankfully it's so rare. We really get along very well and since arguing is NOT my forte yet he could argue the fleas off a dog, I am relieved it's infrequent. As we are growing old together some of our annoying traits seem to be getting the best of us. He for example, WON'T admit to it, but he repeats his statements and questions, OFTEN. I am not trying to act like an angel here because I admit I do have some very annoying traits, but I have to say... I wouldn't even mind him repeating himself to me, I would patiently keep repeating the same answer, but WHY I get so annoyed and a bit bitchy is because i KNOW if i did this to him, he would be impatient and SCREAM... 'I already told you this!!!" So ...really, that makes this HIS fault? right?! come on... RIGHT!!!
As a matter of fact, most of my impatient reactions are only because (the sicilian? or bitch? in me) I have to give him a dose of his own medicine.
An annoying habit of mine (so HE claims), is that I complain .... A LOT. I used to listen to his criticism, and try to be conscious of when I did it, so I could try to curb it... but after ALL these years married... it started dawning on me several years ago.... He is WAYyyyy out complaining me! Trying to argue my point with this expert arguer would be futile... so i dealt with it in a new way.... I began imitating Mr. Petals at every situation where I just KNEW a complaint would be certain.
(for example)..EVERY single time we have ever driven down a particular secondary road to get to a shopping center, he has always negatively commented.... 'Who in their right mind would buy these big homes on this busy street?" So now.... before we get to the big homes... In my big, booming, best Mr. Petals Voice... I say...
(exaggerating my point with a REAL heavy brooklyn ny accent, which he doesn't have but I love to imitate).... 'WhO the hell would buy these freakin homes on this shitty street?? are these stupid people out of their F***ing minds???? '
And...my husband cracks up laughing at himself. (genius, no??)
It's been working every time! When we witness someone driving like a moron.... I BEAT him to the punch... "Freaking Asshole...get off the F***ing road!".... He seems to be getting my point and has really cut back on all this senseless complaining!
Marriage truly is a test of endurance, we all hope its a long distance test. I am finding the best way to ensure it continues, is to find a balance of love, patience, communication and a lot of (freaking) humor.
2 days ago